I am always baffled by the audacity of some people on dating apps. It’s the weird in between in which I’d like to believe that there is some human decency when it comes to dating, but I prepare for the worst regardless.

Now, I’m no stranger to men using old photos. I have gone on dates with men who were 50 pounds heavier than what they looked like in their photos, and while I have nothing against these men, I would appreciate it if they used up to date photos so I didn’t have to start the date with an unpleasant surprise.

I went on a date last week. I didn’t even like the guy, but I thought I’d give him a chance. Maybe he’s just bad at texting, perhaps he’ll be better in person. I always give myself these excuses, and even though I’m disappointed every single time, I subscribe to the idea that maybe this time will be different.

The guy I was going on a date with was 30 years old, going on 31. To my knowledge, he did Brazilian jiu jitsu, so I assumed that he was fit. In his photos, he looked like he had wide shoulders and a wide back. He had a little bit of a receding hairline and a slight overbite, but he seemed nice enough, so I thought I could deal with it.

We decided to go to an arcade for our first date. I got to the arcade early and scrolled on my phone for a little before a shadow started to loom over me. I looked up to find my date hovering over me.

To my understanding, I was going on a date with a 30 year old man, so I would like to understand why this man that stood in front of me seemed more like a 50 year old uncle.

That receding hairline that I knew about? I was severely misled as there was no hair if you looked at him directly. His hairline had receded so far back that he reminded me of George Constanza. While I understand that he couldn’t do anything about his receding hairline, SOME UP TO DATE PHOTOS WOULD HAVE BEEN APPRECIATED SO I KNEW WHAT I WAS WALKING INTO.

That slight overbite was not slight at all. He could hardly close his mouth and was mouth breathing throughout our entire date. The wide back and shoulders were non-existent. He also had a beer gut going on, and while all of this is fine, I was grossly misinformed as to what he looked like.

The truth is that the photos in his dating profile were from 11-12 years ago.

That is a whole child. If someone was born 12 years ago, they would have graduated from elementary school and are on their way to high school. Why he thought it was okay to use 12 year old photos is beyond me because he obviously no longer looked like he did when he was in high school.

Even if I could look past all of the differences in his physical presentation, I could not get over the condescending personality he had. We had gone to an arcade for some playful fun, which he turned into a dick measuring competition.

He complained about every single arcade game I wanted to play and reluctantly played with me. He lost to me in almost every game and whined about not being good at the games. Even in the arcade games he lost, he had to make fun of me for playing the games like a girl. Apparently, I throw like a girl, shoot like a girl, and react like a girl.

News flash, I am a girl. I don’t know what he was expecting if not for me to act like a girl?

After an hour or so of painful arcade games and listening to this man moan about how bad he was at arcade games (seriously though? Who is good at arcade games? He was just being awful), I decided that the date was over. As we were leaving the arcade, he asked what we were doing next to which I promptly replied, I am going home. I don’t want to be here anymore, I am going home.

Tell me why this man makes a frowny face at me and asks for a hug at the end of this abysmal first date. I obliged, gave him a side hug and scurried away so that I didn’t have to deal with him anymore.

I was misled, misinformed, and harassed for the entirety of the date. He didn’t even ask me any questions about myself. Rather, he repeatedly told me that I was a red flag for my hobbies. If that doesn’t scream knight in shining armour and perfect boyfriend, I don’t know what does. Note the heavy sarcasm.

Now, I wasn’t rude during the date, but I certainly wasn’t giving any indicators that I wanted to hang out with him anymore. The prompt statement of me going home should have given him a hint at the fact that I wasn’t interested. Clearly, that wasn’t enough as he continually messaged me for the rest of the day.

Initially, I thought he was just being polite. No. He was not being polite. He thought I was genuinely interested after he scammed me into going on a date with him. I sent him a polite message letting him know that I didn’t think there was a connection and I wished him the best.

He may have sent me some nasty messages, or he may have only unmatched, but I didn’t see his profile in my match history a few hours after that message. I will never know, but I prefer not to know.

Moral of the story? Fucking use updated photos. Even if they aren’t updated photos, please use photos that are an accurate representation of what you look like. 12 year old photos are not representative of what you look like now.